Laura Sweeney, a full time student and soccer player, died yesterday at the rightful age of 16. Sweeney was on her way home from practice when a car struck her vehicle on the right side killing her instantly.
Sweeney was a junior at Anoka High School when she died, also a part time post secondary enrollment options (PSEO) student at Anoka Ramsey Community College.
Sweeney was planning on cheer leading for the high school basketball team this winter. Sweeney was a member on the soccer team for the school and had hopes to become a varsity member her senior year.
After graduating Sweeney had dreams of becoming a writing. Planning on moving to New York City and attend NYU was a high hope of hers says her sister Katie.
Sweeney's memorial service will be held Saturday and 1 p.m. at St. Johns the Baptist Catholic Church in New Brighton, Minn. Her burial immediately after. She will be buried next to her Grandmother.
Sweeney is survived by her mother Michelle, father Jon, sister Katie, and brother Tyler.
I like the flow of your obituary, Laura. Everything goes right into the next very easily and simply. Good work!
ReplyDeleteGood ending with explaining where you are buried and who is surviving you. I like how you explain where you were planning to move to and where you would attend school. How are you at the "rightful" age of 16?
ReplyDeleteI like the way you wrote this, not only saying what you were involved in but what your plans were for your life. Very interesting. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI like the order of your obit. I liked to see your goals.
ReplyDeleteYour story flows nicely and give that personal touch. Nice job Laura!
ReplyDeleteGrade: 8/10
ReplyDeleteMistakes:
• Grandmother isn't a proper name and doesn't need to be capitalized
• Should be at not and 1 p.m.
• Should be Anoka-Ramsey (hyphen)
• Missing a word(s) before this part of the sentence: also a part time post secondary enrollment options (PSEO) student at Anoka Ramsey Community College.
*What do you mean by "rightful" age?